Working helping but I still stalk his Facebook. I’ve dated 15-20 girls in the 3 years since I met her. …I am going through the same phase where i don’t feel attracted to anyone anymore and i am just 25.I was in a relationship for 8 years…he got married few months back.I am Indian and my parents are searching for a suitable match,i got positive responses but as you mentioned in your article something is missing.I just read you article and think i am still in love with him. Being sick puts a lot of things in perspective. I’m sure if … If you open up, you could get hurt. The right guy would stick around because he sees your value, and the herpes would be a minor issue. I do have medical issues that have created more problems in my life and my personal beliefs seem to get in the way as well. I don’t think your guy is the right guy but because he was in your life for so long, you need a detachment period to stop thinking of and having feelings for him. Most of the people say that if they are not attracted visually, then they won’t like to have a romantic connection with that person & would like to be friends. You now feel more attracted to your ex than you did when love sparks were flying all over the place in the honeymoon stage of a relationship. Teasing and/or Flirting. I could help you with this, if you’d like to explore that, do get in touch. You are still in love with the girl you fell for 3 years ago, so it’s hard to meet someone new who will steal your heart again (while you are emotionally still attached to your ex). People do change, time pass, you grow up. Dating does not sound like fun. Whether it’s a fear of closeness or getting hurt, or something else, we could explore together, if you are up for it. All Rights Reserved. Last year I had a short but really toxic relationship with a girl. You need to ‘loosen’ their grip before you can let them go. I’m 31, good looking, and I’ve been on hundreds of dates and dated many women. I mostly agree with you. You can turn this around and things will start to happen, trust me – I’ve been there myself. Lack of choice is an issue, but that lack is usually much more in our heads than around us. Not all men are like your ex. Anyway, I’d love some advice. However! This has been my entire life. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I couldn’t help it though. I don’t tell him straight away, I give it time so that he get”s to know me first. For example, my ex chose me, I didn’t even see her coming. You are most welcome, and thank you for commenting! 6. I don’t know whether I was just never really attracted in the first place or if this is a problem I have with my own feelings Either way, its been 7 years (I’m 29) and the longest relationship I’ve had is 2 months. Thus, it’s impossible to convince you to give a shot to someone you’re purely NOT attracted to. Hi Petra, ... or it can mean that he just has a very specific type that he is attracted to. I tried online dating and I only attract bums or freeloaders or middle eastern men, not a Caucasian guy. … It is always best to look your best – to take care of yourself and your body as much as possible for your own health’s sake and dignity. The last one – a certain girl told me – What are you doing with that guy? The right candidate will have to have good character. You can do much better! Thank you for sharing, as always. I’ve never dated someone I liked more than a few weeks. The third sign that your ex is still attracted to you is that your … If you’d like that contact me for a consultation via Contact or Coaching page. Do You Feel Emotionally Disconnected Somehow? Please tell me what’s wrong with me. I’m very insecure, I don’t think any guy deserves to be with anyone as ugly and jacked up as me. That’s a rough proposition for you to endure with a boyfriend. I know I don’t want to get back together with him and never will (we are no contact). You are not asexual. Contact me for a consultation. The most unattractive quality that a person can have when they want to attract ex back is desperation. Good thoughts and glad you are staying positive! One day I won’t feel like this anymore. Maybe someone else’s approach would work better! I guess I need more luck :-/. There’s so much more to my problems lol. I have no trouble attracting men, but this is how it goes: I like man. I haven’t spoken to her in 9 months, but I can’t stop thinking about her all the time. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. The one thing that will help you with regards to him – is understand what made you fall for him, so you can avoid making the same mistake again. I’m scared of settling! Personally I strongly believe that if lust comes after love, that’s the strongest bonding. Just asking you that to see what are your beliefs around the disease. I’d appreciate it. A guy who will like you for the real reasons will be happy to get your kids in the package. I got over those thoughts quickly and realized he’s an asshole and I’m quite the catch but now I’m in this funk where I don’t even want to deal with it. I have tried saying nothing, I have tried opening up about my feelings. I am not an English speaker natively, but I will do my best to answer your question. You’ve just been hurt and you closed down – easier to not feel than to feel pain. I’m now 33 years old, I have my own business and people say I look younger than my age. Do not be confused my dear lady, your ex is just tracking down and stalking his onetime girlfriend with hopes of getting her back. So I feel this article is correct but can’t place where I’m at. When you don’t believe there is people out there for you, that’s exactly what happens – you keep meeting partners who are not a good match, or you simply don’t meet anyone interesting for a long time. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. Would you make some suggestions – thanks and best wishes. I get asked out a lot by male friends, which always blindsides me because I feel zero attraction and I’m not good at seeing their subtle hints which my gal friends tell me I’ve missed. I feel like I’m all of these. Many people find this the hardest thing to do by far. Very nice article! I get crushes on men but I identify them quickly as sexual attraction and can easily move on if I meet the fellow and there’s no real foundation for a friendship. How about we talk about it, I think we have a better chance of discovering what it is that way. Do if I should just take a long break choosing not to date, or if I should take up a guy on his offer that has some of the things that are appealing to me and see what happens… I also fear wasting time, bringing my daughter around someone else who will leave, not falling in love ever, or passing up the opportunity with a decent guy because of all my fears and regretting it later in life. I do have to say, however, that finding someone special has not been, in my experience, something that happens every day. Let me know if you’d like to work on this with me, I can help. PETRALOVECOACH © 2018. A lot of the guys around here are way too fast for me.But, truth be told, I still have a little “love hangover” from my ex. Its been a year since my first real heart break where a guy I’ve loved more than anyone left me for a much younger much more attractive female with no kids etc. I have often had the most unlikely boyfriends. What to do? We traveled in the same social circle so I saw him frequently. Thanks again for the article (actually all of your articles are masterpiece & I really mean it!). The problem is, I live in a country where religion really matter (I live in Indonesia) and recently I’ve changed so much (spiritually) and that makes dating people so much more difficult. And your ex-boyfriend knows about these tactics too. I really needed someone to love, but it was difficult at that time to really be out there as I was so ill. I can’t imagine if a guy was truly into you he’d leave you immediately after finding out that you have it. What NOT to do when you’re using the law of attraction to get an ex back! Your heart is still taken, even though you are formally single. I don’t have an ex to compare to and a relatively normal childhood. You may be stressed out over something or you may feel like you have gained weight. It lasted till sept 3rd 2015. Another factor, in my case, was that a terrible medical condition for many years which really made meeting men difficult. I still have videos and pictures of him so yeah. Men just need to realize that as much as they want to believe that they choose, they really get chosen. I have the same problem. I try to be as positive as I can be when I meet someone new, but the possibility of rejection is always in the back of my mind. Every day I tell myself it’s time to move on, but nothing happens. I am so utterly lonely, it’s almost a physical pain now that i think I would settle for anyone than continue like this. What does that … She may not have anyone right now that she cares about but she maybe hooking up with other guys. Place where I ’ ve never dated someone I liked more than a few points which I help... 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